Showing signs of "The Terrible Two"

That is what I heard from my mom that once a child turns two, they turn to their extreme uncontrollable moods. I don't think my little Marc can wait anymore. He is showing signs already......staying at home with a child is really hard work especially when they throw tantrums. He has been rebellious ....maybe he is bored or he is experimenting his emotion, I really don't know what are the reasons. Some of the scenes can be terrible. Like yesterday, I told him "No" to not throw his toys so hard on the floor but he wouldn't listen. Then later in the evening during his dinner time, he will munch on his food and spit out onto the floor. The worst is he will step on the "half-processed" food which is already on the floor. If I don't wipe the mess right away, he will use his hands to wipe all over the floor. Then you will hear me screaming with my "not so much hair" on my head standing in alarmed.......argggh.... then I have to wash him up right away.....plonked him on his cot and finish cleaning the floor before attempt to feed him again or I will eat the leftover myself. He just can't sit still while he is feeding, he prefer to walk about and feed at the same time. Oh dear me, please give me more strength to deal with this toddler.

But I am not always at war with my son. Sometimes, he can be sweet, cute and obedient .....but other times.....ohhh I can't imagine....

Then I read something which is very useful online, this could help mothers to soothe their temperamental kiddos :

Twenty Alternatives to Punishment - http://www.awareparenting.com/twenty.htm

I can't imagine how all the "Ah mahs" do in the olden days when they don't have internet to seek for professional or experienced information.





Tags: obedient, discipline, toddler throwing tantrums, parenting

The importance of family dinner for a child’s development

Today I read a news article from ninemsn titled “Families challenged to eat together”, which says that family’s dinner time is important for a child to develop social skills and to learn about nutrition.


I think this is very true and it is a good practice for parents to make an effort to sit down during dinner time and talk to their kids about nutrition, life stories, moral habits rather than watching TV.

I remembered during my primary and teen years, I will always look forward to dinner time. It’s a time when the family gets together and shares their thoughts. I couldn’t see much of my parents during those years because they are mostly busy working. I only get to see them when they pick us up from school but never had a chance to talk to them.

We will spend almost an hour or two catching up during dinner time; they will cover all sorts of topics. My father will tell us about his work, what considers good habits and other peoples’ facts of life that he encountered where we should learn some good moral values. Sometimes he will cite some phrases from the Buddha’s teachings, telling us not to cheat and not to be greedy.

He will also ask us about our life at school, friends and teachers. We will tell him about what we encountered during our school time, he will advise us on what we have to do or maybe it become a topic of discussion whether something we do is right or wrong.

Other times we will talk about our past history that makes us laugh or giggle together. My father and mother will tell about their life when they were young and some history about my ancestors too.

All in all, dinner time is about time to understand each other and to learn from each other.

I see my father as my great life teacher. No other things are more valuable than my father’s stories and teachings.

How to deal with materialistic children?

He will cry, scream and wail. Sometimes he will throw things to show he is angry when his mommy didn’t give him raisins or bread that he wants. When he is picked up by his mommy he will stop screaming and quickly point his little index finger to either biscuit, raisins, bread or his favourite banana.

When it comes to food, I will mostly give my 17th month old son whatever he demanded. I don’t want him to starve. But there are times when I refuse his demand for treats because it’s very near to his meal time.

All these cries and demands got me into thinking of what will happen when my children grew up demanding things that their schoolmates have. Although I didn’t remember pestering my parents for things that my schoolmates have or demand for branded stuff but I believe children in this century is different from my time.

I would say children in this time are more competitive against each other for branded stuff or academic results. A prove of status, either gaining the status of the affluent or the einstein category. To sum it all, children nowadays turn materialistic in order to be acceptable by their peers. The question is how do I teach them to overcome this kind of materialistic pressure? Shall I give in to their demand so as to ease them from such pressure but turn them into a materialistic spoiled brat?

I would have this to say to my children that:

1) Fulfilling demands easily may spoil a child. In future, if he faces difficulty in life it will be very hard on him because he is so use to getting things easily. Money doesn’t come easily, we need to work and get paid. Then only we get to spend. I will tell my children that if they want to buy things which I consider a luxury, then they have to earn it or learn to save money or use their brain but never go into crimes.

2) There are faces of life that are more important than things. They are such as parents’ love, family’s relationship, friendship and doing good to the society. Do you think children in poverty who are starving will think of branded goods? Obviously not, we have to think of people in poverty in order to be grateful for what we have now.

3) Things are only bought for a reason. It is no excuse that they want to buy a particular brand of shoe or bag just because schoolmates have it.

4) To love is to teach them to differentiate and to analyze things. Things that are of necessity, things that are of quality, things that are valuable for money, things that are a favourite either because of the designs, the designers profile or for other reasons.

5) I will tell my children that we are not a cow which follow the crowd but a cow who knows the reason to follow. That makes us an individual with identity and pride.